In my life I have many unfinished wells. I start digging, and after I do not get the desired/expected result in the expected amount of time I get frustrated or discouraged; I quit and start digging a new hole somewhere else.
Maybe the first one went down to a good 500 feet or so before it hit bedrock. The next one I gave to maybe 300 feet before I got frustrated, figured it was going nowhere, and gave up on it. Each one after that I gave up on sooner and sooner than the last; til now its down to just a few feet.
By now the field of my soul looks like a block of Swiss-cheese… littered with holes upon holes, but none bringing forth this life-giving water.
I am a spiritual tourist.
Friday I practiced scrying and tried to talk to my Spirit Guide. Saturday I studied the Kabbalah all day, and then went to a Christian service at night. Sunday I went to Unitarian church, and spent the night singing mantras and clearing my chakras with toning and crystals. Today I studied the Bible, and then practiced Buddhist meditation for a few hours. Holes, I have nothing but holes to show for all of this; I have no well.
I am running out of resources, energy, and landscape. I need a well and not another hole. I need to endure, and simply continue til I hit water, but I am unsure as to where to begin or continue the dig.
If there is a religion whose stance on women’s rights, gay rights, animal rights, social justice and environmentalism is beneath the standard by which I am already capable of living, then why would I lower myself to practice this religion? An encounter with God should increase my sense of purpose and moralty, not lessen it.
By watching the way that you treat others, yourselves, and your environment can I know that you have found something that can embetter me? If you can not match or exceed my own inherent sense of morality, I who do not even profess to know any God personally, then why would I follow your example?
A religion should improve the human or spiritual condition of a being; if not, we debasing ourselves.
So, the question of mine tonight is “What hole do I keep digging in, and which do I abandon?”
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